Tag Archives: Humaniti

Millennial bashing

To the Baby Boomer Generation, I know it is fun to mock Millennial’s, but please remember you are the generation that could not figure out how to set the clocks on your VCR’s.

OMG I am an Intelligencist

Pezwitch and I were having a discussion about some people we know. One of the woman she has been hanging out with has a new boyfriend, whom PezWitch just met tonight. Apparently this boyfriend was relieved to meet her, because all of his girlfriends friends appeared to be stupid and PezWitch was the first smart one he had met. As we were having this conversation, I was thinking, “Yeah, you always did like to befriend dumb people and take them under your wing, I just find them boring and try to ignore them.”. I realized at that moment I am an Intelligencist, I am prejudiced against people who are willfully ignorant. If someone has no intellectual curiosity, I am entirely uninterested in them and have very little patience with them. I am kind of embarrassed about this.

South Park

I was asked recently why I don’t like South Park. I gave the short answer at the time, “I don’t find stories about animated poop particularly funny or entertaining.”. This of course is in reference to Mr Handie, and I got the usual response, which is, “But that is only a couple of episodes, what about the other stuff?”, to which I usually respond, “It goes down hill from there.”. That is generally the end of the conversation.

The long version is, the show is basically glorifying a truly evil character who has murdered other characters on the show and sexually molested at least one other. I know Stan and Kyle are suppose to be the main characters but they are really not. The primary character is Eric Cartman, Kyle and Stan are just foils for him. They almost never win over him and even when they do occasionally win, the victory is short lived. Cartman is a complete shit bag, Kyle and Stan should just kill him and bury him in the back yard, because that would be doing humanity a favor and apparently there are no repercussions for murder in South Park. I dislike South Park for the same reason I dislike Game of Thrones, nothing good ever happens, and you cannot relate to any of the characters nor are any of them even particularly likable, even Stan and Kyle are smug little twits.

And this is without even getting into the obvious political bias of the show.

Count down to Nibiru

This weekend I will be implementing my plan to save the planet. Planet X, also known as Nibiru is scheduled to collide with the earth on September 23rd. Several days ago after verifying the work done by “Christian Numerologist” David Meade showing that Nibiru would in fact destroy the planet, I set about planning to stop this great catastrophe.

I did have some issues with the County Zoning Commission coming by and asking me and I quote “What the hell are you building here?”. I explained it to him and he asked if I had a building permit, to which I replied “SAVING THE WORLD DOES NOT REQUIRE A BUILDING PERMIT!”. He seemed unconvinced and stalked off.

I also had some challenges with the guidance system, getting the Apollo 11 Guidance Computer software was easy, finding hardware to run it on was a bit tougher. Fortunately you can buy literally anything on ebay these days.

Rocket fuel was not any problem at all. Home made rocket fuel is actually pretty easy to make, the primary ingredients being potassium nitrate (KNO3), and plain white table sugar, both of which you can get delivered in bulk by Amazon. For anyone wondering Stump Remover is a great source of potassium nitrate.

At any rate, I should be ready by Saturday.

The End is Here

Apparently we have 32 days until the world ends on September 23rd.

So-Called ‘Experts’ Predict The World Will End 33 Days After The Solar Eclipse On August 21st

PezWitch has informed me that she will not accept this as an excuse for not getting her a birthday present. I told her not to worry, I have a plan to save the planet, all I need is; 20 fifty gallon fish tanks, 330 meters of copper tubing, 400 rolls of duct tape, 40 cans of WD40, 1000 gallons of glycerin, 22 motor boat batteries and a pink 1968 Cadillac.

Eclipse day 2017

I bought myself 3 pair of Amazon eclipse glasses and I used one as a camera filter. Most of the pictures were pretty unusable, but I did get 2 decent shots.

I am really sad today

I would not say that I am depressed, but I am very sad. Perhaps I have finally reached that age where I think the world is going to hell in a hand basket and if everyone would just listen to me, everything would be alright.

The way the 80’s should have been?

I couple of weeks ago I posted on Twitter and Facebook, that I wanted to start a group similar to the Society for Creative Anachronisms (SCA), but instead of Renaissance reenactments, I want to reenact the 80’s as they should have been. The SCA glosses over all the bad things about the middle ages; war, famine, plague, and poverty. In the SCA everyone gets to live in the castle, no one has to be a pig farmer.

In my Society for the Creative 80’s, no one has to flip burgers at McDonalds, everyone has a cool job that gives them plenty of time to go to concerts, smoke pot and fuck. Sort of a retro future where computers delivered on the promise of a better tomorrow, and economic policy that benefited the working poor and the middle class. A world where neon colors, big hair and electronic music rule the day. A time when porn girls had natural boobs and rocker boys didn’t lip sync. The world was on the brink of nuclear annihilation, but we danced until dawn anyway.

Abbie Hoffman said; “The ’60s are gone, dope will never be as cheap, sex never as free, and the rock and roll never as great.”

My Response; “Welcome to the 80’s where dope, sex and music are better than ever!”

I live the life I choose

You know, I think I have too much happening in my life right now. A few weeks ago as we were winding up the game, I got kicked off the server and could not log back into the game. This upset me far more than it should have. I usually do not tend towards emotional outbreaks but for some reason not being able to play HackMaster made me very very depressed. Even a couple of days later, I found myself having anxiety about next weeks game.

I know a lot of people would tell me I am having an abnormal reaction to this situation, I should not be having these feelings about not being able to play a game. To those people I would like to point out, playing the Friday night game is my only real social contact get outside of my Wife. Sure, I go to work and interact in a fairly social way with my co-workers and I suppose that should count for something. However, the Friday night game is not a forced situation where I have to get along with everyone. The Friday night game is something I choose to do.

Chad, Bruce, Thor and David are my best friends, Scott is my second favorite relative. I have real conversations with these guys, we have meaningful relationships. The game is not just about playing HackMaster and fucking up some orcs. We talk about how our work week was, we discuss the books we are reading and the movies we have seen. We laugh, we drink, we debate the issues of the day, we occasionally argue over stupid shit, and we talk about “The Good Old Days”.

Today is the day!

Today is Pi Day, so HAPPY PI DAY to all of my Mathlete friends.

it is also Steak and Blowjob Day, if you were a good boy on Valentines Day and did right by your Significant Other, today is time for the tender love and care you deserve in return.


Fuck You Gawker!

Shame on you Gawker, no wait let me put this another way FUCK YOU GAWKER!. Coca Cola was trying to spread some cheer and good will around the internet, something I would point out, the internet needs more of. Instead of writing something positive and being one of the good guys, you lower yourself once again to the level of Sam Biddle’s Ass, showing us once again what an awful company you really are. I am sure you thought it was funny, just the same way Sam Biddle’s Ass thought it was funny to call for the bullying of nerds. I am also sure we will get a half hearted apology in a few days weeping that it was “Just a Joke” and “Were really REALLY SORRY!”. To this, I would like to quote former President George W. Bush;


Fuck off Gawker, just fuck off.

He is bored and so am I

My brother in blogging Chad has posted on his blog he is bored. All I have to say is, yeah, me too.

Sexism and the Hi Tech industry

My friend wrote a really good piece on sexism, I especially liked;

 “I am far from Mr. Office Decorum and I’ll tell you I would have fired every person imvolved (or better, done like the Romans and have them draw beads then crucify every tenth one in the parking lot as a warning to others).”

I just have to ask – What the hell kind of place are these people working at?

Chad and I disagree on a wide variety of subjects, but one thing we both agree on is the need to all organization to maintain discipline within the ranks.

NSA, encryption and me

Every year I go to the hassle of renewing my PGP keys. I have done this every year for at least 10 years, I dutifully post my public key on my website and I lave a link to it in the signature of my most of my emails. In that time, not a single person has ever used it for anything, nor has anyone ever asked me to use PGP, or even exchange keys. I expect this from normal not paranoid type of people, but I know plenty of Conspiracy Theorists and none of them use it either. I also expected to see more people want to use encryption with the recent revelations concerning the NSA, but again, nothing. Learning curve and technological barriers are not really an excuse, making a key pair and using them is trivial these days, anyone can do it nearly seamlessly.

Sex, violence and hangups

It is interesting that as a whole, everyone hates violence and everyone likes sex. I mean there are a few deviants out there who do not fall into these categories, but really they are few and far between and the truth remains. This probably does not surprise anyone and I doubt anyone would argue it with me. So my question is, if everyone hates violence and likes sex, why do we have so many hangup about sex and so few about violence?

Case in point, I can spend all day Saturday watching all manner slasher flicks and war movies, go to work on Monday and tell everyone this is what I did and no one will bat an eyelash. However, if I spend all day Saturday watching porno, then went to work on Monday and talked about the porn marathon, everyone would think there was something wrong with me. Why is that?

Another case in point, showing someone being graphically murdered in a movie might get you a PG-13 rating, but with a little push back could probably get it set to PG. Show some bare breasts and it is automatic NC-17 rating and you might be able to pull off an R if you are lucky. Why is that?

It is extremely easy to find studies and cases of people suffering longer mental illness due to violence, even if the violence was not perpetrated directly against that person, PTSD anyone. I think you would have a really hard time finding many instances where a bare breast or an exposed penis directly caused anyone to need long term therapy. Someone is getting shot on TV every single night of the week, no one raises an eyebrow, but Janet Jackson has a wardrobe malfunction, a partial nipple can be seen for like 2 seconds and it might as well have been the apocalypse. Why is that?

Shall I go on or does everyone understand my confusion?

Waxing Nostalgic

So last night we did not play our Friday night game. Chad was not at home and had some difficulties getting set up on his laptop and David was MIA with no explanation. We bullshitted around for a couple hours, then went our separate ways. Towards the end of the conversation, Chad mentioned every year he gets this urge to burn everything down, run away and start over. I thought this was really interesting, because I have similar feelings this time of year. Its not that I hate my life or anything like, its more like a wanderlust, a deep seated need to explore what’s over the horizon. At first I attributed this to both of us being born and bred in Montana. The winters in Montana when we were growing up made the whole state a prison. When it is -30 degrees from November to February, you just can not go anywhere or do anything. Sure you can go out and build a snow man etc, but you can only stand the cold for so long before you have to go back in. It is called cabin fever and it sucks.

Chad brought up an alternate theory, he felt the problem was when we were growing up there was still mysteries in the world. There were places literally no man had ever been. It was a world were every couple of years they would find a World War II Japanese soldier in a jungle somewhere unaware the war was over. When we were growing up the world still offered adventure and this is what we are feeling, the need to have an adventure, to explore the jungle or ride a submarine to the bottom of the sea, or climb Mt Everest. Somewhere deep inside our 50 year old hearts, Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn are aching to get out and see the world, meet new people, discover some great treasure of history, maybe fight a sword dual and swing on a vine across a jungle canopy. This struck a cord with me, I have said many times, I am now and will always be in my heart a 14 year old boy.

I just can’t win

I just cannot catch a fucking break.

Why a nerd should never hookup with a mundane

This week a really cool statue of a Star Wars At-AT went up for sale for $16,000. Later in the week it came out the guy was getting rid of it because his girlfriend did not like it. This reminded me of a similar instance from a few years ago where a mans girlfriend made him get rid of a life sized World of Warcraft Orc. Martin Fillery (owner of the AT-AT) really needs to try and contact Robert Cushnie (former owner of the Orc) and find out how his relationship proceeded afterwords. I tried to look for a follow up article, but I found none, so I can not say for sure what happened to Robert’s relationship, but I can make some pretty good guesses based on what little I know.



Here is a piece of advise for everyone in relationship and thinking, this is the one. First off, your partner needs to love and respect you for who you are. If your partner is trying to make tectonic changes in your life, you are most definitely with the wrong person. Its okay to buy you a new shirt or ask you to see a movie you might not otherwise goto, that is no big deal, its the way of it. However if you wake up one day and find you hate all the cloths in your closet, have not heard a decent song in months and all your stuff is in storage, I have some really bad news for you.

The end of summer

So here we are, its Labor day again and as always, I did absolutely nothing I wanted to do. We are now headed into the Fall months, which are historically the months I hate the most. Oh I love Halloween and PezWitch’s birthday is usually fun, but really that is just two days out of the 90+ odd days that constitute the Fall season. Winter is nice, My birthday, our anniversary, Christmas and New years all are fun and we both enjoy the holiday season. Spring is when I start feeling frisky and want to smoke dope, get naked and fuck on the beach, even if I don’t do it (Damn you puritan society!), It feels good to think about it. The comes the long hot days of summer, the time of the year I like the most and the cycle begins again. Sigh!

My wifes family

You know our culture is rife with urban legends about the horrors of in-laws. Millions of hours of TV sitcoms have been dedicated to the subject. Nothing, but NOTHING prepares you for the reality of in-laws. From the very first time my wife took me home and introduced me to her family, I could tell something was off and it wasn’t just the shock of a different family in a different city with whom I had no shared history. It was just a couple of days near the holiday and at the end I really knew all I needed to know, my first impressions were completely accurate.

The first thing I noticed was everyone treated PezWitch differently. I mean everyone was nice enough, but their body language changed when they talked to her and the way they would look at her when her back was turned. The one sole exception of course was her Grandmother Ellen, who obviously loved Shannon. At first I thought the others were jealous because Shannon was Ellen’s obvious favorite, but after a while it occurred to me they were oblivious to this. It took me a while to figure it out, but the real issue was they hated PezWitch’s mother, no one in the family liked her even a little and they seemed to hold the child responsible for the mothers sins.

It was not just that, these people snipped at each other, the talked about each other behind backs, they set each other up for failure, they undermined each other and over the years more than one family dinner ended in arguments and crying. This was a far cry from my own family. Granted my family is not perfect, we have our own personality issues. But at the end of the day we love each other and would go to the wall for each other. I’d give a kidney to any of my brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews. In PezWitch’s family, I doubt they even like each other and they definitely do not respect each other. I am certain if any of them ever read this, they will be outraged about it and claim I don’t really know any of them. The only thing I can say to that is, I lived in Bozeman for 6 years and watched you all from the inside, if that is not the way it is, then you all have funny ways of showing each other affection.

Recently, PezWitch has become estranged from her family. After Ellen died, her Grandfather Ham went batshit crazy and while everyone else seemed okay with taking the abuse, PezWitch was having none of it and said screw it, I am out of here. So fast forward a few years to today and apparently members of her family back in Bozeman have taken to claiming PezWitch’s mother is not actually her mother. This seems odd since well there has never been an inkling of this in the past. I mean usually when there is a skeleton in the family closet like this there are rumors and innuendo and small clues left around, but up until today there was none of this and I mean none. So my best guess is, they are either trying to hurt PezWitch or they are trying to hurt her mother, or possibly both. This basically re-enforces everything I have ever thought about them and it so very pathetic and so very sad.

Things I think about

I have over the years come in contact with various criminal for various reasons. One thing I have found about criminals is they never have a sense of humor. I mean there is this myth about the happy go lucky con man who refuses to take life seriously and is really just trying to have fun. I can tell you, I have never met a criminal like that. I have noticed that criminal will get mad at you if you don’t let them rip you off. Seriously, if you live your life stealing money from other people, the LEAST you can do is be good natured about it when you get caught. I suppose though, the same broken mental make up that makes them criminals to begin with, probably keeps them from being good natured about anything. If you want to know what I am talking about, mess with one of those Nigerian Princes and see how he reacts once he figures out he is not getting any money from you.

Money Corrupts

I watched a short documentary the other day about a group of social scientist who studied the effects of money on people. To no ones surprise they found the more money a person had the more likely they were to feel entitled. The most interesting of the experiments they constructed was a rigged game of Monopoly. The two players flipped a coin, the one who won the coin toss got to be the rich player, the other was the poor player. The rich player started with $2000 and got to roll 2 dice. The poor player started with $1000 and could only roll one dice, further, when collecting money from any source, he could only collect half the stated amount. As you can imagine, the poor player always lost, but the intriguing thing here was when asked, the rich player universally said they deserved to win. The game was rigged in their favor, their position in the game was dictated by a coin flip and they still believed they won by skill and intelligence and deserved their win. They convinced themselves that their opponent could have won if only they had played better, worked harder or was smarter.


It would be pretty easy to launch into a rich people are evil rant, but sadly, I am not going to do that. What I am going to talk about is my current obsession of Magic: The Gathering, which is actually related to this topic. The MTG World Championship and the World Cup are this week. If you go out and look at the deck lists for who is winning, you will see they are all playing a fairly small set of decks and all of these decks cost a butt ton of money to put together, in some cases a thousand dollars or more. MTG has its own economy, you see as a cards utility becomes known and it becomes popular in tournaments, its price goes up and people horde them. So by the time a new set has been out a month or two and the popular decks to play have been established, those decks get expensive to put together, either because you must buy a lot of booster packs to get everything you want or you have to buy it as a single at the inflated price. Either way, you deck cost you $500 to put together.

How these two subjects intertwine is of course because of money. In Magic, as the rigged game of Monopoly, the player with the most money is going to win. Now, it is true that if two players are playing power and expensive decks, then skill and luck will prevail, but the same can be said for Monopoly. The bottom line is, the ticket to entry for serious tournament Magic is money. Sure you can probably win few local tournaments with a cheap deck, but that will likely not last long, either others will duplicate your deck, driving the prices of the cards up or they will build more expensive and powerful decks to beat you. If I buy one of these $500 Jund decks and take it to Friday Night Magic, I will probably dominate the evening without much effort. I can tell you there are several players there who are better players than I am. The question becomes do I deserve to win?

To See and be Seen

Today I visited my eye doctor for the first time in three years and he told me the same thing all doctors tell me, that I am getting old. That was not really what agitated me while I was there. What annoyed me was finding a decent set of frames. I do not care for wire frames, they are simply not very durable and once they get bent up, even if professionally bent back into shape, they are never the same. I like plastic frames, they are as a rule much better at taking abuse and tend to be cheaper. The last time I got glasses I let myself get talked into wire frames and immediately regretted it.

This time around I swore, either plastic frames or fuck everyone, I will re-use my old from from 1995. The problem came not from finding a pair a basic black plastic frames, but from the styles I had to choose from. Apparently hipsters like black plastic frames, what they don’t like is basic. They have these things in all kinds of shapes and styles except for anything I found vaguely workable. I finally found a pair marked US Army, I am sure this frame is targeted at soldiers who need something TriCare will pay for, they even came in a PezWitch approved color of grey.

I have said this before, I hate hipsters, the ruin everything they touch.

The lottery

As I am sure everyone knows the Super-Mego-Ultra-Nuclear-Lotto was up to half a billion dollars last night. So naturally, there was considerable talk about it at work. Both PezWitch and my own team each had Lotto Groups and we both threw in $5 each, her team collected $85, my team collect $40. Normally I am not a big believer in the lottery, in my mind it is a tax on the stupid and should generally be avoided. However the one thing to consider is, if you buy a lottery ticket, your chances of winning are astronomically low, however, if you don’t buy a ticket, it is ZERO. In this particular case, where there was a lot of talk around the office all day, in my estimation, it was worth the $10 to me, just to listen to my co-workers dreams. It is not often that you have so many people together all at once talking about things that make them happy and to see glimmers of hope as they threw done their $5 and put their name on the list. Over all, yesterday was a pretty good day and even though we didn’t win the millions, we did win in life, even if just for a brief few hours.

Another Generation as passed

This year will be the 30th anniversary of my graduation from High School. Being a middle aged man, I am prone to bouts of nostalgia and while I do not miss High School at all, there are some things of the 80’s I do miss, it was after all my coming of age period. However, I digress, This post is not really about the 80’s, the 80’s was just what made me think about the 90’s.

What occurred to me was, how little society has changed in the last 20 years. If you compare 1952 to 1972, culturally, those are very different time periods. The clothing, the music, movies, car designs, nearly everything. Same thing with 1972 and 1992. I am pretty sure this is also true of 1932 and 1952, as well as 1912 and 1932. However, if you look at the last 20 years, 1992 to 2012, there really has been very little change in hair and clothing styles, music, TV and movies. Seriously, if you watched a mainstream chick flick movie from 1992, could you tell if it were made in 1992 or 1999? Has music really moved very from when the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Pear Jam were all the rage in the Alternative Rock scene?

Keep in mind, I am not really complaining about this, I am simply making an observation. It seems to me, considering all the things that have happened in the last 20 years, that our culture would be far more transformed than it is. I suppose much of it has to do with Television and the mid-westernization of the country. Regional dialects have been dying for more than just the last 20 years, when was the last time anyone heard a deep southern drawl. At least I know T-Shirts, blue jeans and tennis shoes will still be in style in 2032.