Tag Archives: Nibiru

Nibiru is now headed safely away from earth

My plan to save the world from Nibiru was successful. Planet X has officially missed Earth by several million kilometers. Which I suppose on a galactic scale is a near miss. However my deflection of the planet was so successful, all it did was cause a couple extra hurricanes and of course the destruction of that farmers barn. The good news is though, Millie his cow seems to have returned to normal after the near miss with the re-entry of the Cadillac. Of course the county building commission still wants to fine me for unregistered construction in my back yard, but it was all worth it. I think this apocalypse diverting gig could become an interesting hobby.

RE: Nibiru


So the chunk of Nibiru I busted off has hit earths atmoshere on schedule, although it is a bit further north than I anticipated. I probably didn’t use enough WD40. The upside is, the chunk did not hit anything and it looks better and better that Nibiru’s course has been corrected and should miss our solar system by several million kilometers now.

Nibiru and back again

I believe decades of playing Dungeons & Dragons along with having watched every episode of Star Trek uniquely qualified me to undertake this project. I was of course right, everything went exceptionally well all things considered. Re-entry was a bit tricky, guidance systems don’t really work all that well when you are talking about a couple of tons of steel traveling at terminal velocity. The farmer in west Texas was pretty pissed off about his barn, but to my credit, while his cow Millie will probably be giving sour milk for a couple of days, she is otherwise just fine. My plan executed near perfectly, I think I may have deflected Nibiru by more than my original calculations indicated.

Anyway, the world is saved, your welcome!

Say Goodbye to Nibiru

I am beginning preparations to execute my plan to divert Nibiru from its current path. At it’s current distance from our solar system and the speed it is travelling, I only need to change its trajectory by slightly more than 1 degree and it should miss us entirely. Wish me luck.

Count down to Nibiru

This weekend I will be implementing my plan to save the planet. Planet X, also known as Nibiru is scheduled to collide with the earth on September 23rd. Several days ago after verifying the work done by “Christian Numerologist” David Meade showing that Nibiru would in fact destroy the planet, I set about planning to stop this great catastrophe.

I did have some issues with the County Zoning Commission coming by and asking me and I quote “What the hell are you building here?”. I explained it to him and he asked if I had a building permit, to which I replied “SAVING THE WORLD DOES NOT REQUIRE A BUILDING PERMIT!”. He seemed unconvinced and stalked off.

I also had some challenges with the guidance system, getting the Apollo 11 Guidance Computer software was easy, finding hardware to run it on was a bit tougher. Fortunately you can buy literally anything on ebay these days.

Rocket fuel was not any problem at all. Home made rocket fuel is actually pretty easy to make, the primary ingredients being potassium nitrate (KNO3), and plain white table sugar, both of which you can get delivered in bulk by Amazon. For anyone wondering Stump Remover is a great source of potassium nitrate.

At any rate, I should be ready by Saturday.

The End is Here

Apparently we have 32 days until the world ends on September 23rd.

So-Called ‘Experts’ Predict The World Will End 33 Days After The Solar Eclipse On August 21st

PezWitch has informed me that she will not accept this as an excuse for not getting her a birthday present. I told her not to worry, I have a plan to save the planet, all I need is; 20 fifty gallon fish tanks, 330 meters of copper tubing, 400 rolls of duct tape, 40 cans of WD40, 1000 gallons of glycerin, 22 motor boat batteries and a pink 1968 Cadillac.