Tag Archives: Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll

What buttons does this press?

Answer, ALL OF THEM!

Sex and other things, but mostly sex.

So I like lesbian porn, it should be a no brainer really but apparently its not. Don’t get me wrong, I like threesome (FFM preferably) porn too, but I by enlarge prefer there be no dudes in the video or picture. I think the reason for this should be obvious, there are no penises in lesbian porn. I am not opposed to penises, I have one myself and it is my favorite body part and I certainly will watch a MFM threesome or MF video, I just prefer there be no penis.

The real reason I wrote this post is I wanted to post this picture, I found it while I was searching for replacement pictures for some of my older posts and thought, wow that presses ALL of my buttons. Okay, I lied in the title, this was just about sex.

 

It spring time

This is the time of the year when I want to abandon my life and run away. When I want to spend the rest of my life smoking dope, and fucking on the beach while rock & roll plays on the radio.

Old people doing silly things

Every town I am sure has a FaceBook “You know your from __________, when..” page and my home town of Billings Montana is no different. I am of course a member of this group, but I rarely go there, because as PezWitch says, its pretty pedestrian, or as I put it, Billings is really boring and that is pretty much why I left. Most of the posts go something like this.

Does anyone remember what was on the corner of 27th street and 6th avenue in 1978?
There was a Safeway there
Correct
Yeah, my grandmother use to work there

Uhg, such shit, who cares. I will probably get hate mail telling me there was not a Safeway at 27th and 6th, what was actually there and in very boring detail tell me why it was important. And I still won’t care.

Anyway, apparently last week the FaceBook group decided to have a “Burn the Point” night. For those of you who are not from Billings, burning the point is what bored teenagers do in Billings Montana on Friday night. They drive around a 4 or 5 block area over and over. The kids without cars stand on the street corners. So on FaceBook all these old people decide it would be really cool to “Burn the Point” for old times sake. The image in my head of all these old people in their Honda Civics circling the block, playing music (but not too loud) while the air reeks of …… prune juice and bengay? Of course the street was clear by 8 PM, because you know, don’t want to miss the breakfast special at Denny’s in the morning. When we were discussing this last night, PezWitch mentioned there was a high probability of frisky old people having sex that night. That kind of killed the conversation.

Happy 4/20

Go out and dance with Mary Jane, tonight is your night.

Today is the day!

Today is Pi Day, so HAPPY PI DAY to all of my Mathlete friends.

it is also Steak and Blowjob Day, if you were a good boy on Valentines Day and did right by your Significant Other, today is time for the tender love and care you deserve in return.

 

The Billings I Remember

Picture no longer available

This picture was posted on Facebook by the Billings Gazette. According to the caption this was taken in April of 1983. For those of you who are not from Billings Montana, this was taken on top of the RimRocks, which are shear cliff cut into sandstone by the Yellowstone River. As you can see here, this is a favoured place for teenagers to gather, drink beer, smoke pot and have sex. I was probably 18 years old when this was taken, I guarantee I was not out there somewhere when this pictures was taken. I was most likely in Bruce’s basement playing Dungeon and Dragons. Sometimes, I do get homesick.

Lifes little things.

My friend Wade found this blog entry a couple of days ago and posted it to Google+. Yes, I am on Google+, yes, I have friends who are Google+, yes there are actual living human being responding to posts on Google+, now shut up and let me get on with this story. So anyway, here is the blog post;

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2006/03/this_week_in_se_6.html

Now go back and read the comments, specifically the post by the guy named Ryan.

So anyone who has known me for any length of time, knows I worked at Miss Kitty’s Adult Bookshop in Bozeman Montana in the mid 80’s. The guy “Ryan” talks about does in fact sound a lot like me. I expressed many of the same things about working there. Mostly boring, hate cleaning the video stalls, etc. The clue here that it is not me, is I don’t play the bango, nor was I commissioned to write a love song to a dildo. So one of two things has happened, either at some point another Chris worked there or this “Ryan” has merged me with another employee.

Miss Kitty’s changed owners a few years ago and is now Erotique. The new owner is Billy McWilliams, who managed the store for many years prior to acquiring the store. When I post a link to this on FaceBook, I will tag him and see if he can clarify the situation for us.

We wish

Posted for your enjoyment, mostly without comment.

mtg-fun

 

Happy toker day

To all you Daydream Believers, happy 4/20.

Interesting ideas

I have not needed a condom in many years, however, I have personally never had problems wearing a condom when needed. I have always felt guys who complained about them and had trouble keeping their erections were just being d-bags. Seriously, if a woman is willing to get naked with me, the least I can do is keep my erection, it just polite. So anyway this company came up with the idea of a lubricant that helps men maintain their erections and then put it on the inside of a condom. Seems to me to be a pretty good idea, so no more excuses, man up and do what you have to do.

http://gizmodo.com/5866129/will-viagra-in-a-condom-get-guys-to-like-using-one

List of 5 Cracked Lists

I like Cracked.com, not all of their stuff appeals to me, but enough of it to make me venture there once a twice week to see they are doing. This list is not a “Best of” list, it is more like a list of Cracked lists that mildly amused me over the last couple of weeks. So take it for what it is.

1. 5 Rock Radio Classics That Actually Suck

2. 15 Best Songs That Are Totally About Masturbation

3. 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Poor

4. 10 Best Sci-Fi Films Never Made

5. 5 Things You Won’t Believe Aren’t In the Bible

 

Cybersex and cheating

The whole weenergate thing has brought up talk about whether or not cybersex with someone who is not your spouse really cheating. Personally, I don’t see cybersex as cheating any more than I consider masturbating to Playboy magazine to be cheating. Yes, it involves another person, but there is no physical contact, no exchange of bodily fluid, it is in effect masturbation and as long as both parties are consenting adults, it is harmless. Certainly there is something to be said about emotional cheating, but really if someone is emotionally hurt over a bit of hot online chat, they are probably being overly sensitive and your relationship likely has deeper problems. My advise to any one who walks in on their significant other having hot chat with some one else, is to get on your knees, ask them to read it all to you and go down on them while they do it. Trust me, this will do more for your marriage than acting like a child.

Sex in Space

I have read a couple of blog posts lately about the complete lack of secret sex experiments in space by either the U.S.A or Russia. If you google sex in space, you will not find a single credible report of anyone joining the 22,300 mile club. I personally find this very hard to believe. Human beings are after all human beings and one of the driving forces in our existence is sex. Lets be realistic here, most astronauts are reasonably young, healthy, athletic and intelligent. When you put groups of mixed gendered people who are reasonably young, healthy, athletic and intelligent together for long periods of time, some chemistry is going to happen. When I was in the Military, when we would go out into the field or deploy for long periods of time, there was always people hooking up. It is so prevalent that Supply Sergeants were required to keep condoms on hand and give them anyone who requested them, no questions asked.

While I can not prove it, I think there have most certainly been some hanky panky going on at the International Space Station and probably Mir before that. The reason there has been no reports or rumours is, any scandal like that would end the careers of everyone involved and not just the couple who were doing the fucking, but everyone on the mission, so everyone keeps their mouths shut. However, I am looking forward to some tell all books in about 20 years.

Orginal Star Wars LP

PezWitch picked up a copy of the original LP for Star Wars off of ebay for like $10, which included this poster, now hanging in her grrl cave.

2011-03-19 15.06.10

Some of these look fun

The song, I have no real comment on, however the video is ….interesting. While some of them look painful and others are just down right weird, there are couple of them I say, what the hell, you only live once.

Hot Elf Chick

Carnifex.org is proudly participating in James Smith of The Underdark Gazette plot to bring attention to the Old School Renaissance by posting pictures of hot elf chicks. In this case Mia Rose from WhoreLore (formally known as World of Whorecraft) episode Two.

mia-rose-elf

http://underdarkgazette.blogspot.com/2011/03/hot-elf-chick-my-fiendish-plan-to-grow.html

Nice spread of dice

This is to help get the New Year started right.

Picture no longer available

Hot girl, catholic school girl mini skirt and dice, what’s not to like.

Tron: Jeremy

Okay after brooding for a couple of hours over our crappy politicians, I needed something funny, something to make me laugh. This did it for me. I want to go see Tron: Jeremy. Don’t worry, the video is safe for work.

Tron: Jeremy

 

Because playing Magic the Gathering is just like this

Comic Con Austin is having a Magic the Gathering Tournament, with a $5000 purse. I use to play a mean game of Magic some years ago, but it has been at least 12 years since I played it seriously. I was being wish washy about joining the tournament, but after seeing this picture I am definitely joining up. The game is certainly more interesting than I remember it being.

strip-mtg

Two videos for your entertainment

http://www.youtube.com/v/e1IxOS4VzKM?fs=1&hl=en_US
Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury

http://www.youtube.com/v/RSt-3X-pK24?fs=1&hl=en_US
Dungeon Master Gurls

I am a child of the 80’s

I came of age in the 80’s, I graduated High School in the 80’s, my 20 somethings were in the 80’s, I got married in the 80’s, heck, I lost my virginity in the 80’s. Contrary to popular belief, the 80’s did not start on January 1st 1980 or January 20th 1981, but rather on August 1st 1981 and it was trumpeted in  with Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles.

http://www.youtube.com/v/jSJ27TgBvJE&hl=en_US&fs=1

To this day, the 80’s have had profound effects on our political discourse and our culture. Cracked.com has a list of a few 80’s hangovers we are still suffering from.
http://www.cracked.com/funny-2360-the-1980s/

There are somethings worth repeating

katerina-hartlova

Sex and Teenagers

Okay, I can’t believe I have to be the one who does this. According to some off line discussions I have had, apparently parents find it difficult to discuss sex with their children and for whatever reason, also do not want the school system teaching sex education. If you have read this blog in the last couple of days, you know, I believe this is the reason we have teenagers who pretend they are vampires and werewolves. So for those of you who do not want their kids discovering their sexuality from some moron in wearing badly applied mascara, here is a book you can use to get the discussion going with your darling little angel.

Sex: A Book for Teens: An Uncensored Guide to Your Body, Sex, and Safety

The book comes recommended from one of my favorite bloggers Violet Blue (NSFW).

Hey Snowflake, you are not so special !

I had a revelation today as I was reading this article about teens pretending to be werewolves. First we had teens who were Goth, they dressed all in black and were depressed all the time. Then came the Emos, who were some how different from Goths. After that came the teens who thought they were vampires, who were somehow different from the Goths and the Emos. Now we have teens who think they are werewolves, who are somehow different from the Goths, Emos and teens who think they were vampires. I am over the age of 17, so I have no idea what the differences are, so I am not going to go into that. However, I have figured out why this is happening. See, we stopped teaching sex education in high school and now we have a whole generation of kids who are more screwed up than we were. If you don’t believe me, go down to Lubbock Texas, talk to some teenagers and see what I mean. The sex education curriculum can be summed up one sentence, “Sex is dirty, disgusting and evil, so it should only be done with someone you love after marriage.”.

So anyway, what we have is teenagers who do not understand what is happening to them. Because they are being taught sex is dirty and evil, they assume, because they are having these feelings, they must be dirty and evil. They seem to be light sensitive and sleep late every chance they get, only to come alive during the night. Instead of realizing, hey, I am in puberty, my body is changing, so I need more sleep, they think, “I must be a Vampire”. They get new hair on their body and instead of thinking “WooHoo, I am growing up”, they think “I must be a werewolf”. They get these new feelings in their tummies and instead of thinking “Hey she has nice tits”, they think “I must be lusting after her blood”.

So to all of you parents out there, if you want your kids to become normal teenagers, please explain to them truthfully, well before puberty, what to expect. To all you teenagers or soon to be teenagers, you are not a vampire, you are not a werewolf, you are also not alone. What is happening to you is normal and contrary to what your friends are saying, you are not a supernatural being of immense power. You are a normal teenager and you need to get over yourself.