I had to read this three times before I understood what it really meant. It is kind of confusing. Essentially it is a zen like saying about how we should try to live our lives more fully. Instead of letting our minds worry about everything all the time, we should take those moments where we don’t need to be thinking, we don’t need to be worrying and instead, find peace within ourselves. While you are waiting for the elevator, don’t think about the email your boss sent you yesterday, just relax, clear your mind and just BE!
A friend sent this too me yesterday, she is trying to rewire my brain I think, maybe not be quit so intense. Thinking is what I do, it is what I do at work and its what I do for fun, heck sometimes I am thinking about 2 or 3 different things at the same time. This will be my struggle for the year I think, I am use to living a life of doing, maybe it is time for me to slow down and think less, live less inside my own brain.
Okay folks, this is pretty much it, we are in the final hours of 2018. The first half of the year pretty much sucked frost giant balls, but the second half of the year turned out pretty good. I think 2019 is going to be a tough year for many many reasons, but I think I am much better equipped to face 2019 than I was to facing 2018.
Plans for 2019:
Kingdom of Loathing: I am going to ascend my character tomorrow and continue this run for the entire year with ascending again until January 1st 2020. This is really just an experiment to see how high of a level I can obtain.
Dungeons and Dragons Game: I want to get the characters my players are using currently to 20th level. They are currently 12th to 14th level, I expect them to be 20th level before the end of the year and then go out with a bang.
Writing: I really want to write way more than I have been. In past years I have promised myself I would write a thousand words a day, but I almost never come close to that. Instead in 2019 I am going to participate in National Novel Writing Month and turn out a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. Now I just need a good idea.
Misc other things: I really need to start getting out and exercising, I also need to quit smoking and while I am at it, I might as well become a vegan. Haa Ha Ha, just kidding.
While I was in Billings, I spent one morning driving around my old stomping grounds with the intent of taking some pictures. None of these are all that interesting, but the idea was to show some bit of the old home town where I spent time growing up.
So this is the final night of my last vacation of the year. Normally this vacation is rather festive and enjoyable as Shannon and I close out the year, wrap up our Christmas shopping and celebrate our wedding anniversary. This year everything came to a screeching halt when our oldest cat Grixie got sick and died. This process took about 3 days and pretty much ruined the mood of the vacation.
2018 was all in all not a very pleasant year. The only real highlight was going home for Thanksgiving and reconnecting with an old friend. If it had not been for that trip, this whole year would have been a total wash. I am hoping the next couple of weeks go well and I can end this year and begin next year on a high note.
I recently bought myself a Tarot deck. A friend has reintroduced me to it. While I am not a particularly big believer in divination or predicting the future (after all, I believe in karma, kismet just pisses me off), I do think how we interpret the symbolism inherent in the cards can give us insight into our own psyche and perhaps light the path a bit.
This was my first layout. My intent here was the top card is my current state, the place where I am now. The bottom three cards are past, present and future. What I need is help with the path forward, i have been floundering for the last couple of years, dealing with depression and anxiety. Some recent emotional turmoil has really pushed me to get off my ass and do something instead of just wallowing in my own depression.
So the Fool at the top makes me very uncomfortable, but I have to admit it is a fair assessment of my current state. The King of Swords is where I have been, my previous assessment of myself; a soldier, a man who solves problems, often with brute force, but just as often with wisdom and Intelligence. The Nine of Pentacles is my present, I think this represents my wife, the person who tends my garden, keeps my house and loves me. I think this is an important reminder of what I have, because I think recently I have taken her for granted and been neglectful of our relationship.
The final card, the Five of Cups, represent my being mournful of the past. The spilt cups represent the years past, the standing cups represent the years to come, I am of that age where I have more years behind than I have ahead. More importantly though, in the background is a bridge and a castle. Maybe its just that 40 years of playing D&D has ingrained in me that wherever there is a castle, there a dragon close by, but when I look at that, I see adventure down the path.
Puberty was not kind to me, I was often seen stomping around the house with a scowl on my face. For you women out there who cannot imagine what it is like to be a boy going through puberty, I can only say, it is basically walking around with an erection for four years and no one willing to help you with it.
No Shave November is an annual event at work where the married men whose wives do not like facial hair, band together in solidarity and grow beards. I thought I would chronicle the progress. I think all in all I managed a pretty decent growth before I shaved today. For the record, it took 4 double sided blades to take it all off.
This my last day of vacation, I traveled home to Billings and spent some quality time with my family. I got to meet the newest member of my extended family, Haley, my Great Niece. Seeing the look on her mothers face as I was telling Haley that I would be the one showing her how to be weird, teaching her to swear and on her 16th birthday I would give her beer, cigarettes and condoms, was priceless. The whole trip was fun and after I got home, I immediately wanted to go back.
I saw a picture of this statue a few years ago, and an article about it popped up on Facebook today. The statue is of the Medusa with Perseus’s head in her hand. I think this is an interesting juxtaposition of the story. In the original Peresus Statue he is holding the Medusa’s head up high as he himself faces the sky in victory. In the story he is the hero who has slain an evil and vile creature. However, if you read the Medusa’a story, she is actually the victim. First she is raped by Poseidon in a temple of Athena. The Athena punishes her by transforming her into a gorgon, I suspect this was the first recorded incident of victim blaming. Medusa was then sent to live in exile because everyone who gazed upon her turned to stone. Finally Perseus was sent to kill her and was given several magic items to assist him. None of these events were her fault, but rather the gods playing with mortal lives like they were toys.
With this statue, it shows the Medusa as the victor of the fight, instead of holding Perseus’s head high and proclaiming victory, it is at her side and her eyes are cast down because she has won nothing, the gods hate her even more now and she was forced to kill an innocent man who is also nothing more than pawn of the gods, but she did what she had to to survive another day.